When we have been in a relationship for a long time sometimes we start to assume that we know where our partner is wanting to go in their lives and the route they are planning to take to get there. While this may be true some of the time it often isn’t true most of the time. While at one time in your life you likely talked about hopes, goals and dreams, those moments often get lost in the day to day that is our lives as our relationship matures. As individuals we have thoughts, ideas, passions, inspirations, goals, hopes and dreams that can run through our mind at any time and perhaps even multiple times a day. We don’t often share these inner thoughts because they don’t always seem significant and yet they often determine how we live our lives and give us focus.
Understanding the very things that make our partners tick is one of the easiest ways couples can stay on the same page. Turning these “ticks” into shared goals will help you achieve greater relationship success and ultimately greater relationship satisfaction. It will help give you a clear picture of where you are heading and allows you both to invest in what is important to you each as individuals and to your relationship.
What I recommend is that couples sit down and make a “bucket list” so to speak of all the different areas in their life:
With each of these, each person will write down what is most important to them individually, what milestones they would like to reach within each area and the date in which they want to reach it by. Discuss them as a couple and see which ones you share. Put all of them on one master list and then post this list somewhere where you can both see it (whether this be on the fridge, in an office or in your bedroom). Have a monthly meeting to discuss where you are each at and if you are reaching your goals. Don’t forget to discuss the places you may need additional support and what you would like that support to look like.
When a goal has been reached I recommend celebrating it in some capacity and acknowledging the progress and effort you each have made to make it happen.
What items are on your bucketlist? Share them in the comment section below.