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Changing Your Mindset: Why Having Feelings Doesn’t Make You Weak

A client came into my office the other day with a complete story in his mind about how his fragility (read emotions) are a weakness. He wanted to hide away as his sadness rose and sBe bold, confident, courageous, fearless, daring and brave wordstopped making eye contact because he said he felt ashamed to have me see him in that state. In that moment I asked him what he found more difficult: being at home/at work distracting himself from his feelings or sitting in my office facing his sadness? I am sure you can guess what his answer was. Being in my office experiencing his feelings was a much more challenging and vulnerable experience. So why is it that we label having feelings as a weakness when really it takes much more strength and courage to face them then to ignore/suppress/avoid/numb them?

I think it’s time we step into our own fragility and start viewing it as a strength. After all, not only is doing so extremely difficult but it also is the only thing that will allow us to have an authentic, healthy, undefended relationship with ourselves (and therefore others).

So I challenge you to start challenging the dialogue in your head that tells you your feelings are a weakness. Even if you aren’t ready to talk to someone about them or to share your feelings, start familiarizing yourself with them and being kind to yourself when they bubble up. There is no perfect or easy way to do this, but doing it takes courage and strength and creates the freedom you need to really be happy in life. We all deserve that. So will you join me in stepping towards your feelings and realizing how strong you actually are?

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