One of the greatest parts of my job is helping people to really see themselves accurately. I don’t know what could be more rewarding than having an authentic relationship with yourself and being fortunate enough to witness people on that journey is what inspires me to do what I do every day.
Sometimes we find ourselves in relationship after relationship without ever feeling really connected. Sure we can chalk this up to the other person not being the right one for us, but it can often be due to our own relationship with self. One of the core needs I believe we all have is to connect with others. Being in a relationship gives us somewhere to put our love, we get to make others feel good and in return get to feel wanted and needed. We can convince ourselves that it is these relationships that will make us happy. Unknowingly, however, our relationships become the distractions that prevent us from doing our own work
When we have parts of ourselves that feel dark, scary or unknown it is normal to want to look the other way. These parts are painful and nobody feels secure or safe exploring that side of themselves. But if we don’t take the time to really build a healthy relationship with ourselves, we will be left looking for external solutions to an internal problem.
One of the bravest things you can do is stop running from yourself. Facing yourself is hard: It means looking at parts of yourself that are unpleasant and uncomfortable, and taking the time to understand them. It isn’t easy and can be painful but it is the journey that makes having a successful relationship possible. It is also the journey that will allow you to trust yourself to be okay regardless of what life throws at you.
So take some time and think about things. Ask yourself if there are parts of your life that you have been avoiding for some time. Have you been distracting yourself with relationships when focusing on yourself is what you really need to be happy? Maybe now is the time to reach out for help, whether that be to a friend, family member or counsellor and give yourself permission to dedicate some time and attention to discovering who you really are. There is a quote I often think of that says “wherever you go, there you are.” What a beautiful thing to be able to say to yourself with confidence instead of insecurity.
Relationships of all kinds are what make life rich and full of color. Ask yourself where you are at in your own life and what relationship really needs to be worked on. If it is your relationship with self, honor yourself enough to take the time to do your work. You and your future slong-term partner will thank you for it.