John Gottman really does post some of the best blogs! One of his biggest teachings is about the affects the 4 Horsemen Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling, have on relationships. The reason it is important to learn about the 4 Horsemen is because we all can get caught up in engaging in these behaviours when we are in conflict. They have a blog post about the antidotes to the 4 Horsemen with easy to follow pictures and write-ups for each. If you find yourself ever getting caught up in destructive relationship patterns, give this blog a read and start learning how to undo your unhealthy ways of engaging.