More often than not when I am feeling unsatisfied, frustrated, or just plain off in my relationship the person I want to change is my fiancé. Don’t get me wrong, he is amazing, but everyone has their triggers (mine is how he leaves the dishes ON TOP of the dishwasher, his is how loudly I eat hard candy). My point with this is that the focus becomes external, leaves us with no control and ultimately makes us feel less happy.
One of my clients mentioned to me how she wrote a piece about the woman she wants to be once she works through her current struggles. I saw this as a beautiful opportunity for all of us to stop focusing on things outside of ourselves and instead focus on who we want to be.
When I write these posts I often tackle them with the whole relationship in mind but no relationship will ever reach its potential if we don’t start with ourselves. At the end of the day you are the only person you have control over. So this entry is about challenging yourself to get out of your day to day and really think about who it is you want to be. Get out of the mindset that your partner needs to change first in order for you make some changes, and instead ground yourself in who you believe your best self would be. What is different about this person than who you are today?
These are exercises we rarely take the time to do but then we complain when our relationship doesn’t seem to be where we want it to be. I would really encourage you to write down who you want to be and then follow it up with a list of steps you can take to move yourself closer to being who you are really capable of being. Continuing to work on yourself and your growth is one of the best commitments you can make for your relationship.
Now excuse me while I go practice eating hard candy quietly.