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What To Do When You Just Don’t Know

Sometimes in our relationships we find ourselves at a crossroads completely unsure of what to do or where to go. Perhaps it is our anxiety that is leaving us frozen, or maybe it is because both roads lead to places that feel “right”. Making decisions that can have a big impact on our relationships and us as individuals is hard to do, so here is what I recommend.


  1. Take Some Deep Breaths: When we feel overwhelmed or like we need to make a decision we often forget to breathe…literally and figuratively. If we are anxious our breathing is usually out of sync so take a few moments to get some deep breaths in. Additionally, we often feel we need to make the decision right now instead of taking a few moments/hours/days to sit on it and breathe through it. Most of us have been victims of our own rash decision-making. Unless it is literally a life or death situation, take a bit of time to process all that is coming up for you.
  2. Create A Pros And Cons List For Each Side: This is pretty self explanatory but important to do none the less. Make vancouver relationship counselling, working through relationship problemssure you take some time to do this and don’t rush through it. Also, be as honest as possible with yourself so that the list is an actual representation of both sides.
  3. Listen To Your Gut: We all know that feeling when we can feel that something is right (or wrong) but can’t explain why. Our gut is often referred to by researchers as our “Second Brain” and plays a big role in how we feel emotionally. So take a moment, close your eyes, and listen to what your gut is trying to tell you.
  4. Be Okay With Not Knowing Right Away: Sometimes not knowing is actually the best answer.  The truth is, sometimes we actually just don’t know. This is an answer in itself so give yourself permission to be uncertain and trust that the answer will come (and it’s usually sooner than later!).


There are times when not making a decision is the best decision to make. As hard as it can be to sit with what you are going through, making a decision because you feel anxious or pressured doesn’t always lead to you making the decision that is best for you or your relationship. If you are in a position in your relationship where you are uncertain of what road to take, give yourself permission to take some time and allow the answer to come to you.

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