Sometimes in our relationships we can’t see the forest through the trees? Have you ever found yourself in that situation? I know I sure have.
It is really hard to see an experience for what it is when we are living right in the middle of it. When we are that close, our feelings are usually heightened and we can become flooded pretty easily. Essentially what that means is that we aren’t able to regulate ourselves or see the experience from a healthy and balanced perspective.
So, how can you deal with this? Well truthfully to some degree you can’t…let me rephrase that, you can’t deal with it on your own. We can’t see things we don’t know are there. Behaviors, feelings, experiences, thoughts: all of these things become normalized over time when we find ourselves engaging in them time and time again.
So the best thing to do is to talk to people about what is going on. Ask those closest to you to reserve judgment for a moment and just to provide insight on whether or not they see these thoughts, behaviors, feelings and experiences as healthy. What does the forest look like when you’re on the outside looking in?
It requires a lot of courage to ask for perspective on matters of the heart, but it can also be what helps you out of the cycle. Maybe you and your partner are able to get out of the cycle together because you both realize what you are doing isn’t healthy and you’re both committed to making changes. Or, maybe you realize that what you need isn’t being provided. Either way, wouldn’t it be helpful to have some perspective on what it is you’re going through? Find your people and see where the journey of self-disclosure and vulnerability takes you.
Sending you hope and perspective,