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Why Listening To An Expert Can Sometimes Fail You

In my line of work, people often ask me about what I think is the right choice. What should their goal be? What is the best step for them to take? It’s funny because one of the things I so strongly believe in is that you know what is best for you more than anyone else and yet at times, out of my desire to help make their lives easier, I can find myself trying to come up with answers to their questions. Sometimes I think I know, other times I am certain I don’t. I recently listened to a seminar that reminded me how much more valuable it is to encourage people to listen to their gut and the importance of making a choice – whatever that choice may be – instead of sitting in indecision.

It is sad how often we waste days, weeks, months and even years of our life waiting for the “optimal moment” when we will know for sure that we are making the right decision, as though if we wait long enough somehow it will either present itself or become easier. Even when our options are laid out in front of us, the possibilities can paralyze us and cause us to stay in the same place for longer than we wish. We don’t often realize how much we lose to indecision and how much more we suffer when we intentionally or unintentionally refuse to choose. How often have you wished that you had made a decision to do something to change the struggle you faced instead of sitting with it for months or years out of fear of not knowing what the right something was?

When it comes to actually making a decision it’s not uncommon to turn to an expert, friend, loved one etc to tell us what’s best. While talking to someone and getting support can be a really positive decision, if you do so while ignoring your own voice   you send yourself the message that you can’t trust your own perspective. I know first hand how hard it can be to trust yourself if you are used to listening to other people but the truth is nobody knows what is best for you the way you do. This isn’t to say that others can’t or shouldn’t provide guidance, support or even insight into what you are going through. After all, I think being able to ask for support and help is one of the strongest and healthiest things you can do for yourself. The challenge arises, however, when they suggest something that doesn’t fit and we become ambivalent which leaves us stuck in the very struggle we are trying to get out of.

So what am I getting at with all this? My point is that you will feel so much better about your situation and you will move yourself forward, even if it’s not in a straight line, by giving yourself permission act on the information you have now instead of waiting for everything to make sense. So instead of taking other people’s suggestions as the right suggestions take time to sit with it and determine if it is the right information for you. Your work begins by deciding what fits and what doesn’t. Pick things apart and apply what fits with you. If you are quiet enough your gut will tell you what it thinks. So start listening, take a step towards what your gut is telling you, even if you aren’t sure where it will end up. The truth is, by tackling it this way you will be one step closer to where you belong. After all, knowing where we don’t belong can be just as important as knowing where we do.

How are you going to get yourself back in the game by choosing to make a decision on something instead of remaining indecisive? Let me know in the comment section below and know, as always, that I am here to support you on your journey and celebrate your successes!


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