Working with relationships, one of the inevitable conversations that comes up is the person’s or couples sex life. Are they satisfied? Can they talk about it? What’s normal? For many people talking about sex is really difficult. Lots of individuals grew up in homes or in socials circles that made sex a very hush-hush topic or a topic that should never leave the bedroom. Personally, I think it’s critical to open up the dialogue on this topic because it plays such a big role in your relationship satisfaction. I am not saying you have to have frequent sex to be happy (although that may be the case for some) but sex seems to have quite a bit of power in a relationship and how connected or disconnected individuals can feel to their partner. It is, after all, one major component that makes this relationship different than the other relationships in your life.
While sex is definitely a topic I discuss in my office, I often refer clients on to specialized sex therapists if that feels like the major struggle in their relationship (vs communication, connection, conflict etc.). If you are, however, new to talking about sex and just want to learn more about it and the many ways it is or isn’t influencing you as an individual and/or your relationship, then I would highly recommend you check out Vanessa Marin’s blog. I discovered her by chance and she answers a lot of questions that I see come up in my office. Having sex – more importantly having good sex (however you define that) – is healthy and important so take a look and see if you can find comfort in realizing that you aren’t alone and that there are many different ways to have a healthy and happy sex life.
P.S She offers some great courses if you are hoping to explore your sexual relationship a little deeper!