Let’s be honest, life gets really busy really quickly. Sometimes I look at my day planner only to realize a week or a month has gone by and I am not quite sure where it has gone. From what I have been told, I am not alone in feeling this way, but I do think it is important to realize the impact an overly full schedule can have on your relationship.
Have you ever told yourself or your partner that you will prioritize something ( date night, family day, a particular class etc) but then forget to schedule it in or actually make it happen? It isn’t because you don’t want to or because you don’t think it’s important but rather that life just got in the way without you even realizing it. Despite the good intentions, what message do you think this sends to your partner? Usually when these things happen it isn’t because we are intending to make our partner feel insignificant but rather that we lost track of time or an unexpected deadline came up. The downfall? It takes a toll on our relationship and can ultimately lead to feeling disconnected.
The good news is that there is a simple tool that you can bring in to your relationship that cannot only help repair any accidental relationship injuries but also make our relationship stronger by keeping us on track and connected. It is called a Check-In.
One of the best ways to stay connected and on the same page as our partners is to have regular “scheduled” check ins where you discuss what your next few days look like, what you need from your partner and learn what your partner needs from you. This can take any shape and can happen at any time of the day but it is a really valuable tool that can make it so that fewer things get missed and more time is spent connecting and “re-syncing” after our busy days. Check-ins don’t need to take a long time, in fact they often only take a few minutes which is what makes them so valuable. Some couples I know choose to check in as they are going to bed. Others start their mornings a few times a week by checking in over their cup of coffee.
Checking in makes our partner feel valued and prioritized if for no other reason than because you are taking the time to ask how his/her day was and what you can do to make their week better. The best part of doing a regular check in? When that pesky deadline inevitably pops up your partner is more likely to understand…and you’ll be sure to be reminded that your next free evening is being spent cuddled up on the couch watching a movie!